This Is Just Me

No two people are the same.

They maybe alike in some ways, but never exactly the same.

Every person in the world views, feels, and hears this world differently.

If I say all candy is disgusting and tastes horrible, that's my opinion and how I taste it to be.

At that point, you cannot knock me and say I'm wrong for feeling this way.

Just because it tastes as certain way to you now means it has to taste that way for me?

So, I'm different because what's considered "the norm" isn't for me?

Maybe you're different because it tastes good to you?

There is no norm, but there is what's common.

This is all just an example.

I've been called weird simply because I view the world & this life differently.

I laugh because there is no set way that you have to live, see, or act in this life.

I have my morals, values, and beliefs, for which I stand for but just because it may differ from yours I'm different now, right?

This is what makes people ignorant.

Not stupid or dumb, but rather unknowing of other views on whatever the case maybe.

Another example would be my brother and I.

We've lived together forever and were raised together, but we have likes & dislikes.

There might even be a random person elsewhere in the world who has more in common with me than my own blood.

My point is don't assume that people see, hear, or feel the same things as you.

Don't be a fool and judge. Who are you? Surely not God...

This may sound crazy but listen to this. It's just a another insane thought I've had.

Let's say you're in the car with someone as you're driving.

You see a red Hummer pass by, so you say, "Hey did you see that red Hummer that drove by?"

The person you're with replies, "Oh no I don't see it. Guess I missed it."

Maybe through your eyes the Hummer was red, but through your friends eyes it was blue.

Maybe to that person red to them is blue, and blue to them is red.

Maybe they say somethings are red just to fit in with society, but to them it honestly appears blue or another color.

You never know...

I'm sure this situation has happened to you before.

Maybe that person answered no to the question because they seriously didn't see a red Hummer, but rather a blue one...

Again, my point is that you'll never know what life looks like through another person's eyes unless they tell you.

Some people think I'm odd or will quickly call me the stupid one because this way of thinking is uncommon.

Now I don't necessarily live by this in every situation, but this is always in the back of my mind.

Think broad, not narrow.

Leave all possibilities open because anything is possible. Nothing is impossible.

Man can do anything that he imagines.

Man wanted to fly. He realized he couldn't do it physically, so he thought of a way to make it happen.

Now we fly from coast to coast or country to country.

Think about where we'll be, if humans are still around, in another 1,000 years.

Even in another 100 years we will be even more advanced.

Gaining knowledge is never ending.

Till this day, I live by this motto: Dare to be Different

It means so much to me because many people fear negative responses if they were to be different. They might not be accepted. I don't let this hold me back. I will be my true self.

Joshua James Stowers is who he is. Like him or not, he will forever be who he is yet always seeking ways of improvement, knowledge, and understanding.

I love who I am. No one can change me, but God.

God made me the way I am.

I don't have to live for any man. I don't have to answer to any man.

So why would I give a damn about anything that you have to say if it will only try to tear me down, steer me away from myself, or make me into somebody I'm not?

Love God through Christ.

Love Family & Others.

Love Thy Self.

formspring.me

Are you scared of dying?

Not at all. Death is merely the start of a new beginning of eternal life, if you so believe.

Ask me anything

formspring.me

What's your future plans

I plan on being well into my career bringing down 6-figures, happily married with a kid or two

Ask me anything

formspring.me

Your so sexy

thnks! much appreciated

Ask me anything

The Unexplainable

In my mind thoughts move rapidly, like a cycle,

But sometimes they backslide, moonwalk, like Michael,

I go,

Faster then I could ever imagine,

These sounds are rare & hard to find again so my brain starts to map them,

Like what I hear, so my hands start to clapping,

Laughing,

Harder than I ever could,

Because things suddenly make sense like they should,

But do they to you?

Who knew?

That you,

Could be so blinded by beauty....

Like the sky not being blue,

I see you,

But do you see me,

Probably not because your eyes are caught by the freaky -

Ness,

I stress,

That you often pray for God to bless,

Because without His test you wouldn't have anything left,

To live for or give,

For what He has in store is more than what you can imagine plus more,

Some people say they want to run through your mind but I wish to soar,

Now I'm seeing & hearing new things like my mind's on a tour,

Many aspects of this life are indescribable,

To let my unheard word be heard, maybe I should grab a mic or two?

I'll speak into it, let my imagination crawl through it,

Sit down with an arrow in my hand like Cupid,

And then await the person who expresses hatred and shoot it,

No never that though,

My family & I know I'm not stupid,

But I swear it seems like I'm the odd boy on the block - the new kid,

And people my age think I'm crazy because my ideas aren't lucid,

So I'm a loser simply because I think I'm gonna lose it?

You're ignorant because you fool with people who pronounce it "Ignant"

This is just the truth - exactly what I'm feeling,

But I'm left here waiting for my mental wounds to begin healing,

Most of what my voice says is unexplainable,

Leaving you lost, wondering what's the cause,

Am I blamable?

I'm not a rapper but a poet, you should know it...

What goes on in my head shines in the dark, so I glow it...

Ever wondered why we're anxious by the butterflies but laugh from the tickles?

To me they're a similar feeling, just with different reasoning & meaning...

Yes, anxiety & laughter are two different things.

How could you compare the two? Is probably what you're thinking right now...

To me a tickle is an unexplainable feeling that is felt through physical touch.

The butterflies are felt within, without requiring touch. Everyone gets the butterflies for different reasons: excitement, anxiousness, fear, etc.

So they maybe nowhere similar to you....but to me they are...

The unexplainable - things people seek that are constantly sought after...

Not understanding what I speak as I indulge in this laughter...

Say I rephrase the simple with intelligent vocabulary,

At least I don't sleep in other beds before I happily marry,

This life is actually kind of scary,

Knowing I must defeat "self" & become King like Larry,

I talk naturally with a whole lot of satire,

But I'm serious when I say I wish I could run through 40 women like Quagmire,

Somethings got to keep me sane...

What's preventing me from doing the wrong that feels so good with no pain?

There are times when I don't at all feel relatable...

Keep my eyes nailed to the sky - I call this The Unexplainable...

Mind Surfing

Let's surf across the very top of the ocean,

Feel the breeze through your hair as it alters your motion,

It'll cleanse your skin & make it shine like lotion,

And yeah I like to splurge & burn bread - I'm toastin'

Hopin',

That one day I can see without these human eyes,

Maybe we'll make a compromise,

You give up after 2 tries,

While I drown alive in pity of my lies,

How about neither?

Trying to find the beauty of life, so I seek her,

To me it's like a Godly game,

Do you have what it takes to live eternally,

Or naturally fall in the group titled "The Same"?

I've got crazy skills & plenty talents,

But what if I don't recognize? Do I have them?

Look within, play to win,

Hard to do, easy to sin & grin,

My face used to be pure - I was timid,

Now I have my own mind - My face is livid,

Poisoned by the serpent & his friends,

Life can be eternal - It won't meet ends,

If you so choose to praise,

The One who eventually did raise,

Back up,

Never slack up,

I want to murder my envy & destroy my proud,

But there's this thought that makes me wanna scream aloud,

As if I were in front of an abundant crowd,

"I AM JOSHUA. CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?"

"I KNOW I'M RIGHT, I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO YELL AS LOUD!"

But HE calms me,

Shields my being with his hand - so HE palms me,

Then alarms me,

Brings me back to reality,

Spiritually get slapped back into actuality,

Does it all really matter to me?

This water flows from my pupils,

Because my thoughts trip & fall into loopholes,

Which are unseen, unheard,

Maybe I don't concur?

So I lay here with sorrow & just wonder,

Some want to see me go under,

But my brain strikes fear like thunder,

So I stay in bed, in PJ's, have a solo party - slumber,

I wish to fill these missing drains of life - call me plumber,

Now we're riding a wave so high,

That mist keeps sprinkling the sky,

No, No, No, I'm not coming down,

I play games with my mind while no one's around,

No, psychotic isn't the correct word but weird is,

A lot of times I get shocked by the lights like a deer is,

But you don't see this,

Will you even read this?

Maybe this blog is my best friend?

The only thing to take out time and listen,

"Hey Josh, why don't you tell a parent?"

"Hell No. All they wanna do is teach a lesson."

I'm through stressin',

How about I pop & inject something & then start regretting?

No, not ever - God's never letting,

Is it wrong to think my life so far is worth forgetting?

You are now tuned into an episode of my mind,

You probably won't understand & get left behind,

Mentally answer my own questions & then laugh,

"Hahaha Mr. Conscience you're really good at math"

Guarantee you, you think I'm fucking crazy,

But you're just too lazy to even comprehend half,

We should put our surf boards away now,

We've been gliding for what seems like an hour,

Probably tripping balls from what I said to you,

Maybe look at it from my angle you just won't do?

Who knows? I surely don't have a clue.

Okay the tide is coming in,

Possibly tomorrow we'll take a dive & swim,

Through my mind we'll begin searching,

In a little something I like to call...Mind Surfing

Can You Hear Me Now?

Once upon a time, everybody heard my words,

Never understood so I flap my wings, fly away with the birds,
In one ear and right out the other,
Saw the light from above so I ducked for cover,
He said, "You know that's wrong, so why suffer?"
Mr. Devil tempts me, I question myself every time I get the urge,
To swim in a sea that appears so beautiful to me,
But once in it, get a little taste, like glue you're stuck in it,
When it comes to this thing called sin, there's no limit,
At times, Life I don't get it,
This here light is just too bright so I dim it,
Down,
All the way to the ground, faster then sound,
I leap to another dimension all in one bound,
I see forward but the other directions aren't found,
So to see another perspective, I spin around,
Explain to you my thoughts - you'd think I'm a clown,
It's hard to walk like Christ, with an upside-down frown,
Always seeking answers to my questions,
Never second-guessing any of my prayer sessions,
I love life but most times it doesn't love back,
Living in peace, no sin, eternal bliss - I would love that,
But things don't make sense like a dove that's black,
And that's wack,
The fact that I shouldn't get jealous of what I lack,
But that's that,
It's what Yahweh wants,
And I'll switch up my bad ways like word fonts,
I'll accept Christ & die for God,
Not afraid to be complex & professing my faith is never odd,
Feel emotions, ready to express them, grab the iPod,
Then music punched my ears, which made my head nod,
His punishment might not be you struck by a lightning rod,
But rather you feeling guilt for stealing a stack of cash or a wad,
I hear and see things in a different light,
So that you'll understand, I'll say it's brighter than white,
Maybe you won't, maybe you might,
Called weird - I say things that make you think I'm crazy,
Unheard words escape my mouth - make you think I'm on LSD,
I possess common & uncommon sense,
Either you think I'm insane, or that my brain is just immense,
I imagine things that appear unimaginable to most,
In my mind I can actually fly, like coast to coast,
I think I lost you after the second line,
So I'll take a pause & give you time...

Okay now we're back on track,
At times I feel like I'm trapped,
I gotta stretch so I run a lap,
I mean mental exercising,
Got to too many thoughts to sort,
Call it master-minding,
A ladder to New Jerusalem is what I'm climbing,
Steady walking on a dream - the meaning I'm still finding,
You never know until you try it, like biting,
Never believe what you think you see, like an alien sighting,
You know what?
You too probably don't see what I see - you're blinded,
So to you I say - just never-mind this...

May I Borrow Your Ears For A Second?

I used to cut the nite lite on,
Now I cut the light bulb on,
In my head, where my thoughts reside,
I dare you to come inside,
You'll be lost like the roller coaster ride that flew off to the side,
And you can't say that I didn't warn you because I just tried,
My poetry is sick, so real, so ill, like flu - "ah-choo",
And don't test dude cuz he know's not what he do,
He's so blue like the sky,
But not clear and I know why,
Always thought it would be easy,
Told to use ya head, shoot for stars, since like the age of three,
That's what my father instilled in me,
And now it's so real to be,
Doing something better, still makin' cheddar,
And doing it legally,
Now people lookin' all jealous,
Wishing they were straight in the head,
Man this is ridiculous,
Thou shall not cut with the morning wood,
Keep that in mind when I start to thinkin' I should -
Commit the seventh,
Then it's one step closer to the opposite of heaven,
I have many dislikes but never any hate,
This downfall will be over Sooner Than Later - no Drake,
Drizzy Rogers,
You don't know who to look up to because you know not who your father is,
Do you and never do them,
You'll shine bright like a diamond or something like a gem,
But you won't know when or where,
It's neither here or there,
And when it finally hits you,
They all begin to stop and stare...

Solo

Smooth like Mohammad Ali,
I keep it movin' through Jersey,
Faced against the shotty,
Me movin' is not likely,
Cuz I'm highly about me you see,
I'm so high you could probably kite me,
But I remembered you're not a killer or a G,
So the battles you will flee,
Now see,
I really shouldn't be behind you,
Cuz you're clearly out of mind,
Mind you,
My mental is what I'm in to,
Nothing less, shoot for Kings just like Sacramento,
Supplemental is the flow, you gotta get with some,
My pinnacle is the floor that I erected from,
Listen closely,
Or you'll lose your life quick-fast, not even over cash,
In the middle of ransom,
Now sing the anthem,
I am what you call Man at his best...and some...
This is who I be, I keep it solo, I am one...

Won't Do

For me, no...
One won't do it, two is not enough for me,no
One won't do, two is not enough for me, no
One won't do it, two is not enough for me, no
One won't do...

Now this here is my official tribute,
All Dilla, fuck the skrilla, man I contribute,
Pay my dues, you never know just what you could lose,
Any and all that means the most to you,
Well I got new news, I sit here and write about my blues,
Problems and stress got me confused,
So I burn out the blunt just like a fuse,
Listen to my rhymes - the 1's & the 2's,
I drop several clues,
Maybe you will finally comprehend & decipher all of my views,
Step out of reality, sort the false & the trues,
Tears flow about what I don't like - the "boo-hoo's",
Flew through school, still don't know the why's & who's,
Never lose,
What you have or you'll be long gone like the ave.
I spazz - out,
Sometimes my days are black, opposite of a cloud,
I scream loud,
But nobody hears or wants to,
Try to have patience & see what my life comes to,
I run through my days struck in amaze,
Stuck in a phase, try to stack my chips up like Lays,
Just in case,
I walk right in the light at a steady pace,
Awaiting my time to blow up, I got my "ready face",
Put the cards up, show ya bluff, I got an ace,
I keep my thoughts untangled like shoes unlaced,
Placed on this earth, in the middle of this search,
I sit on the ground tryna understand my worth,
I wonder if this is all worth - it?
New thoughts, new ideas, so I birth - it,
Hate to go to this job but I work - it,
I'll make a beat sound complete so I hurt - it,
Per - fect,
Is my flow when you hear it,
But I give you pieces of my art so I leak it,
Speak it,
The realness of my poetry, that is,
But I lay still on the ground like a doormat is,
Format this,
Take what you hear & do what you please,
Come face to face with your fears & put them at ease...

For me, no...
One won't do it, two is not enough for me,no
One won't do, two is not enough for me, no
One won't do it, two is not enough for me, no
One won't do...

I love H.E.R.
Just as Common said,
Dilla was a genius and left his work in this world.
Hopefully this sound will be reborn and receive the appreciation it so deserves.

R.I.B. J Dilla aka Jay Dee
(Rest In Beats)

Nike Commercial - Lupe Fiasco as "Blitzen"

Let's Take A Trip

Hey Mr. Tree, how's it going?
I see vivid colors in your forest,
And then this river started flowing,
Glowing,
Was my liver, as it shiver,
I saw this wall with 10 eyes - it said come hither,
I came, what a shame,
It said Joshua - How did it know my name?
Fear made my legs run away,
These 2 hours then turned into a day.
Mr. Tree, you're naked - where's your leaves?
He said they all went to Space, but no one believes.
I'm jogging, yet faster then running,
I leap further into the galaxy,
Venus is bathing - she's so stunning.
Whoa...hold on there...there's a cliff.
I can walk in all directions at once,
But my body's not moving - it's stiff.
I grab the Sun by its rays, and then I flee,
Like Christmas, I put the star atop the tree.
Now Mr. Tree is decorated and mentionable,
My eyes view the world in 2D - what's 3 Dimensional?
And then I tripped....
Falling face first....
Into a cosmic storm,
I heard the "splat" first,
Before I actually landed....
Into a black hearse,
I felt like a dirty bandit,
Because I stole 2 comets,
Saw the Earth from afar - Should I bomb it?
Mr. Tree says, " No, Stop It! "
OH NO....
Now I'm coming down from a fantasy town,
That was around planets way above the ground;
New sounds were piercing my ears,
Something that would take years to even hear.
I have faith in the fact that I'm Heaven-bound,
Only seeing words that are verb-less, something like a noun.

I snapped out of it....
It was like a dream....
Was it reality?

Why am I in a tree, on a branch in my backyard?

Dear Joseph,

Hey bro,
How's it going?
I sure wish I could've met you,
But our parents did shit without knowing,
Ever since Dad told me about you I started thinking,
Trying to get the tears out my eyes, so I started winking,
How is it up there anyway? What's it like?
Doing God's work? Never having nightmares at night?
I know there's no dark in Heaven,
But I've been having bugged out dreams since like eleven,
I sure wish I could wine & dine with angels & Christ,
But I'm stuck here putting up with this life,
I would rather be in deeper shit then we're in now,
Than to know I would've had another sibling, wow...
You know what? I'll call you Joseph.
Mom might have named you that,
We don't have one of those yet,
One day I will see you,
We're gonna catch up as if you never left,
I was pissed the fuck off when he told me,
But couldn't express it because he respected me enough to tell me,
Well, Jonjon is the oldest,
He played college football & is the tallest,
Then comes me,
I like to joke & laugh,
There's also Jordan, known for her arts & craft,
Can't forget about Jabin, the youngest boy,
He mumbles when he speaks but always has the look of joy,
Knowing I could have had another sibling makes me really mad,
Oh did I mention that your brother
Jared will be a Princeton Grad ?
I imagine when we meet,
We'll feel like we've known each other forever,
As one big happy family we'll rejoice together,
Why? Why man?
Why did you have to never be?
In our lives on Earth that is,
It would mean the world to me,
Dad says he cries every night about it,
I haven't seen him cry over shit,
And it pisses me off that
Mom & Dad don't even speak about it,
Excuse my language Joseph, it's just the emotions,
I'm coming soon man,
To take a dive in the Heavenly Oceans,
Pray for me as I have done for you,
Just wait,
I'll be in the Kingdom of God too,
I'll keep God in mind,
And try to walk like Jesus,
Promise me one thing...
When we come face to face,
Tell me you'll never leave us...

With Love,

Your Brother Joshua

Mystery Girl

I wanna woman who's my homie, she's my ace;
She'll always be my only, her smile like the sun shining in my face....

You would be the only love that I need,
You would be the last breath that I breathe....

You can take the temperature of a star, that's how hot I am for you,
You're so sweet, similar to cotton candy, like pink & blue....

For you I'll do the unthinkable,
I lust for your mind & body, but you seem untouchable....

Without your love my vision is blurred,
You are the letters that make up my every word....

The touch of your skin, the color of your eyes;
Have you ever felt her love within, but it was brought to you by surprise?

I picture you running in an open field into my arms as we twirl,
I until I set my eyes on you, you will remain my mystery girl....

Come in and soar throughout my world,
My mind's going half crazy, I got lost in the swirl....

I'm blind because I can't see you, but you appear to be right there....
You're that wind that pushes me forward, I can feel it in the air....

My mystery girl....

Come Walk With Me

I walk and sigh,

Thinking about my lost pride,

I feel God's pressure,

So I look up above,

From all the stress I feel like giving up....

Now picture this,

You and I in paradise,

Why can't you see it,

Don't like my problems so I say good-bye,

Walking away as I hold the tears back from the cry....

Stop the song,

I know what's right but still tempted by wrong,

I'm coming down,

Finding a place to land,

I now see that life is so grand....

The nervousness,

Dreams of the truth I must truly be blessed,

And all I want to do is help out my fam,

If May 21, 1990 never was,

You wouldn't even know who I am....

Call the new me Special,

When it comes to ordinary he is extra,

He stays in line yet is always next up,

Running on a full stomach but he's fed up,

So he kneels with Christ in mind just to keep his head up....

Then Love Me

I never let 'em get to me,

Maybe if I followed them they would truly see,

The better side of me....

The boy that only wanted to belong; Is that so damn wrong?

But no that's not the case,

Sometimes I wanna run and never ever show my face....

But my mind is out wandering, wandering, wandering

But my family is staring and watching, watching, watching

If you gonna love me, then love me

Don't leave me waiting patiently outside,

If you gonna be down then we can take that ride....

If you gonna love me, then love me

Wanna be appreciated and never hated,

But can that be?

Only if I could see....

If you gonna love me, then love me....

Didn't like me because I acted too White,

Only 9 - What the fuck was I supposed to think, right?

Maybe I'll call a girl a bitch, then I'd fit in....

Never do that because she's the one I want to spend my life with....

I see women as beautiful and not objects,

And I'll still wife you up even with no assests....

But I'm still trying to understand, understand, understand

I guess this is what it takes to be a man, man, man

If you gonna love me, then love me

Don't leave me waiting patiently outside,

If you gonna be down then we can take that ride....

If you gonna love me, then love me

Wanna be appreciated and never hated,

But can that be?

Only if I could see....

If you gonna love me, then love me....

My friends were always there, but more importantly my family was there with that unconditional love. When left out, they brought me in. I'm not trying to take an oath, but I will say I'm disliked by many yet loved by most.

Breathe

I just want to be with you....

In the most unusual way....

I don't mean to play games with you....

But I want you in the most desired way....

The first time I saw you I played it cool,

Now you're my favorite melody, baby

I fell in love with your mystery,

Now you're all I try to solve....

You're like the air I cannot breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe

Do you know what I mean?

You're like the air I cannot breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe

Baby girl now can you see?

I just want to lay with you....

Right here as I'm loving you....

Please make this fantasy come true....

But I know I must have to really love you....

First time I saw you - damn she's cute,

Now I can, yet cannot have you, baby

I fell in love with my curiosity,

Now I'm thinking about you all alone....

You're like the air I cannot breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe

Do you know what I mean?

You're like the air I cannot breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe

Baby girl now can you see?

GQ Magazine's "Gangsta Killers"

These are the best "new faces" of hip hop. My personal favorites. This picture is missing one person though - Wiz Khalifa

a.k.a "Mr. Spacely"

My Favorite Video by N.A.S.A

Kid Cudi Punches Fan Because of a Wallet

The Darkness

Unfortunately, no....

I'm not speaking about Charlie Murphy & Wesley Snipes....

But rather those sleepless nights in which you lay down facing the ceiling,

Thinking about your life, or simply life in general.

Ever question God? Not in a disrespectful manner,

But ask, "Why me Lord? What have I done wrong?"

"Why give me life?"

There's been countless nights where I would lay on my bed,

Lights off, TV off, and just listen to the sound of silence....

It's as if it's just God, my mind....my existence....

This is when I vent, ask, talk, and pray in Jesus Christ's name.

You ever wonder why people feel more capable of doing wrong,

or feel shielded when darkness comes about?

Well, that's complete nonsense.

As if God can't see you....

I tend to look at it this way....

In the actual beginning of time, when the first man was created,

There was no darkness.

There was constant light, no such thing as sin, no sickness,

No wrong, no pain, no tears....

I hear man could even look up and see the Heavens from Earth.

There was a direct connection between God & Man.

Once Man sinned, that connection had to be broken.

God is perfect and free of sin, therefore he is not affiliated with sin.

Sin brought in pain, sickness, fear, hatred, darkness....

Innocence was lost.

Picture this....it's just a thought...

God sitting upon his throne, understands that Man has sinned,

Cuts off the connection, pushes the Sun in a circle with a WORD,

and then spins the world so that Earth sees day & night....

Till this day, the Earth still spins....

Profound a bit? I imagine tons of things most wouldn't even dare to.

I could be completely off though.

Through several battles of my own thoughts and reading the Word,

I've come to comprehend some of these questions I ask.

Why me Lord?: God has provided a perfect & right plan for all of us.

This is the life he chose me to live and this is the only Earthly life I'll live.

What have I done wrong?: You shouldn't look at it that way. Look at it as, What haven't you done for God? Have I even tried to walk like Christ?

Why give me life?: God showed love by creating you and giving you a chance to be in His presence one day. Look at it that way. He places before you life and death. Why not choose life?

At times I have racing thoughts, questions that appear unanswerable,

or unheard of. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind.

Faith & self-control are the keys to making it out of that darkness.

Think about this....

Darkness doesn't shine, therefore it doesn't strike light.

But light shines and strikes darkness.

Light wins. Choose Life. Leave the Darkness.

Hardcore Dreamer

I consider myself to be an in-depth dreamer.

One who dreams, not just images or scenes, but stories & adventures.

I usually dream every night or every 2-3 nights.

My dreams vary from fun & relaxing to intense & "running for my life".

I've had sleep paralysis a few times, an OBE or "out-of-body-experience",

and even a premonition before.

Yes....call me weird.....I love to be different.

Some of my dreams have consisted of sadness, terror, bliss, sex, and even seeing my brother have an asthma attack - He does have asthma....and I was 9.

I also recently had a dream where I took a psychedelic drug.

Magic Mushrooms, or shrooms - which was crazy.

I knew what it felt like to be on that drug because the dream was so real.

I also get strong feelings of "Deja-Vu" - where you could've sworn that you did this exact same thing at this same moment, at this same place.

To me dreams are one of the biggest mysteries to man.

Do they mean anything? Good or bad in the long-run?

Everybody dreams, whether you realize it or not.

So what if you can't remember any of your dreams?

What does it mean if you do remember most of your dreams, like me?

One day I'll find the answers to these questions and it will all make sense.

Until then, just label me a hardcore dreamer....

New Kid Cudi "Pursuit of Happiness" Music Video

You

I see pretty women walk down the street, like daily,

Want to grab 'em, wife 'em, and make 'em my main lady,

But how could you blame me?

They don't compare to you, I'm impressed by your inside,

Know what's next?

We can play a little game I like to call Mind Sex,

We don't have to lay down, but you gotta be down,

To read me up and down,

Looking into my eyes is like looking into my mind,

And sometimes that's more arousing then, let's say, touching on your behind,

Get in your pants, no more like your thoughts,

Cause I'm so deep in your mind right now that it appears I'm lost,

And they say men aren't supposed to cry,

But faced against your beauty I don't see why.

It's something about your humility and sensitivity

That says a lot to me, especially, your rich and beautiful character,

Which is making me want to marry ya,

And I'm not trying to come off aggressive it's just....

Speaking to you is never repetitive and you so gorgeous....

What if I were to tell you that it's sometimes more about the

Sensuality than Sexuality?

Being able to pry into your mind and see your inside rather than

Your outside is what I would like....

Not that I don't wish to touch you, but I just wanna see

If you physical matches up with your mental,

Because in actuality the reality of me loving your physicality

And mentality is something that I dream about and

Wish to truly be....

You see, I used to dislike writing but now it's like a passion,

Because I see it as my personal method of expression,

It will be SAID by the pen that writes it,

HEARD by the one that reads it,

And only SEEN by the eyes that truly realize the profundity of it....

So, to you, that special one, I want to travel your mind and body,

Without even having to run....

I cannot see you, nor can I feel you, but I can smell you....

Your everlasting scent of purity, as it lingers, into eternity,

As it passes Pluto - Wish I could come forth but....

I would probably be blinded by your Halo.

You've got my nose wide open as I follow your aura,

Feening to have you so badly so you could have my son or daughter,

We join as one to express our love just as God explained it,

Sex is beautiful - we are the one's who left it tainted,

But for now, don't leave - please don't leave me....

I fall from my imagination slowly as your departure eludes me,

Heading towards the Land of Innocence,

You float away through the divine eyes of Heaven's pearly white gates....

My Angel

She'll never know that she's the reason why I wrote this rhyme;
The ladder towards her love I take one step at a time...
When will it be, where will it be, for her to see;
That she, flows in a river of beauty,
In my mind mentally...
On a daily she doesn't really realize that she's
My breath of fresh air at each and every sunrise...
If I were to tell her she might laugh,
I feel like I did already - thinking my thoughts out loudly
I guess I must have...
She is my queen to be - except not really,
Let me escape my imagination and giver her the love
That I stole from each and every nation...
Long behold now she carrieth a creation from the Lord above,
Oh how I must truly love...
But I keep drifting off into my imagination...
I would love to pin-point her love and slide in at every possible angle;
Honestly this Lady of Mahogany is whom I call...
My Angel...

Her

Here we are, all alone in her bedroom;
It's so dark in here but her beauty shines bright light,
So all that I can see is her...
As I approach her I caress her gently, as her body
Is pressed tightly against mine...
I begin by kissing her forehead and then work my way down
In a straight line...
She then whispers into my ear - I want you badly, but first
I have something for you...
As she leaves my arms so does the air from my lungs.
Her energy is so strong.
She comes back dressed in only her t-shirt and a thong.
She then takes my hand and leads me to her bed.
We lay down slowly, while she's on top of me she kisses me...
Each kiss is like chocolate covered raindrops hitting my face slowly...
She smells so good and it makes me want her in the worst way;
Feel like I'm not complete although I saw her just the other day...
I roll her over so that I'm in control,
And then take off my shirt - oh how I love her big 'ol...
But now that we're close enough I kiss her with desire and meaning;
Her love is what I'm feeling,
As I penetrate deeply to the sounds of Chris Brown's "Take You Down"
I move in sync with the beat...
Then after a while as I hit a certain spot her voice in lost...
Now there is complete silence but for the beats of our hearts...
She digs her nails into my back while the sweat from my chest
Drips onto hers...
Now that she's satisfied it's my turn...
I begin to pick up pace as the temperature rises up in this place...
Time to let loose so I release and into a state of euphoria I go...
Now that it's quiet we drift off to sleep together...
For now she is safe from all of the stormy weather...
It's the crack of dawn and as the sun shines into my eyes,
So does her gorgeous smile...
I awoke to an angel staring at me...
Stunned, I gracefully move her hair from blocking her eyes...
I realize not only the outside but the beauty of her inside...
Shortly after we fall back off into our deep sleep...
Her presence is most of what fuels me...
If only I could find...
Her...

In My Dreams

Scared to doze off cuz imma nightmare dreamer type,
Eyes wide open wonder why I can't sleep at night;
Sit on the curb lost, pondering my thoughts, will I die from my fears;
So the herb in my lungs, I gotta cough, the sound of the world in my ears;
Can't seem to catch up, so time drives by,
It's hard to keep my head up, so my eyes cry,
Some smoke up, just to float up, and see the stars;
Moving at the speed of light, just touched down in Mars;
The weight of the world on my shoulder's, try and lift me;
This is too trippy, like walking at night and the trees speak wit me;
Spit over beats sickly, throw a quick fit the heats in me cuz the 5th in me;
You hear me, I don't know where the hell I'm heading, so please steer me;
You fear me, everything from my shoes on up to where my ears be;
But they don't hear me,
Rather lay deaf alone than listen to a fucking symphony;
This makes no sense to me, you dudes is past tense to me;
I'm better off Peter Parker, spider sensory;
Never lost sight of the top, but I live the lesser see
I wasn't familiar with this thing called life, or what it means;
So I lose touch with reality and tell you what I saw in my dreams....

Real Talk

Despite the fact that I might,
Conform to being them so we can be alike,
I must never let 'em in but instead break myself out,
'Cause if I let 'em win I can see all for what I stand for heading South.

Be yourself, do you, you on a mission - is what my father tell me.
Should I listen, do me, let the tension stiffen, or possibly
See what Joshua James Stowers is missin'?

Is it the drugs, the alcohol, or the cigs that got these dudes trippin'?
Or is it somebody telling them to go further in life that got these dudes tippin' - over
Like the game has ended,
I rest my case as the young man forever called different,
But still a nigga still never offended.

Did I forget to mention that I am above you,
Something like a cloud do;
And now I'm laughing at you all from afar like a clown do.
I would say that I miss all my haters but I am constantly surrounded by you,
And hassled by you,
But I still stand strong,
And the only thing missing is the chick on my arm...

Yep, listen - you only cool if you Bloodin' or you Crippin',
Forget the maturity or even the purity - I gotta be dirty
Just for a girl to even notice me,
I'm not trying to act no fool,
But now she don't like me cause I ain't yell out "Soo Woop"

This shows the stupidity, the ignorance, the immaturity;
You say you know me but you really never heard of me.
Pressured by society to do well,
Because my kind is ignorant and we're meant to fail...

Extra, Extra - Did you read all about it?
This young man is one not to be doubted.
Never ever slip & fall get lost in the swirl,
Because now I can say there's one less Black Man not doing shit in this world...

Woman

The epitome of a woman...
Submissive to her man and good lookin',
Never taken advantage of, strong, and bold;
With her as my life partner, wife, and friend
We grow old - together as one we hold the power to create
New life in this world.

I want, desire, and wish for her love
But if I am to take on that responsibility
I must truly love - her for what she is, is something I must accept;
Leaving her is not an option, she cannot say I left.

One day I will find you and fall into your deep spell called Love...
My Woman...

How I Feel

With all that's going on in the world somethings got to change,
I've sees so many kids with no water that they try to drink the rain;
Little boys with no fathers as mothers take the lead...
Do you know what this means?
There's no guidance, no reliance, more defiance, and much ignorance.
I commend all women who take on a fatherly role,
because it's us men who ran and motherhood we stole.
Through me we have hope - wouldn't that be dope?
If I could take every bad thing and then elope;
Free the world of its hurt and pain,
But all at once I cannot tame;
That's why we as a people must face our miseries,
And attempt to leap over each of our adversities.
Remember that all that worries us we acknowledge,
And this is how I feel towards all of this.

This is what I see from afar, This is who I are,
This is so real, This is how I feel...

Should I or Should I Not?

Should I give up on this life trying?
Maybe I should give up crying,
Pouring my tears out to my mother as I kneel?
Or should I speak to my God of whom I cannot see nor feel?
Should I or Should I Not?

My mother, one of my influences & acts as my personal ladder,
She'll give me a kiss, tell me it'll be okay & help me climb to what I most desire;
Anyone against me I pay no mind - they're just flesh & bone,
Because I'm in a different category - I stand alone.
Should I or Should I Not?

Now you know who influences me - God, myself & my mother;
I will strive for the best, above the rest, there will be no other;
At the end of the day I still want your opinion,
Possibly I'll give up, it's a touch decision.
Should I or Should I Not?