Behind A Smile

[Verse 1:]
Heck with the man to be,

Secular family,

Never was glad too,

Heather was the last beau,

Heaven is way past due,

Sevens appear in the eye,

Gamble before my cup spews hatred into the eye,

Please leave with sky,

Cruise the ozone or moan groan in bed with the lady by my side,

And by the tide I ride a wave a mile high

as soon as I ride by my high kicks into gear five,

That's wild,

But what's not anymore,

Not many adore what I do have,

Laugh at me but fear badly my wrath,

Glad to be the one in the sun,

Rays of light widen my sight,

And the seconds it takes to realize I'm alive,

One and I'm done,

You hide and you run,

Sigh from the smoke in the eye blasted from the barrel of a gun,

Enjoy my body of work,

Boy in the body of a smirk

[Chorus:]
If I passed away,
What have I done,
Leave a mark on this earth,
Before you are gone,
Nobody sees the pain behind a smile
Nobody sees the pain behind a smile

[Verse 2:]
In my bedroom reintroducing pill to mouth,
Spilled it out,
The depression session lived on a cloud,
It's too bad when everyone hates and runs
With the wrong impression of you and then favorites one son,
I'm done son,
But tear up from memories of pops telling me to "run son",
"Fuck it and smile" is the motto chosen,
Hoping to open what was spiked in my bottle of poison,
I'm through searching,
Grew hurting,
Thoughts of running in traffic,
A vehicular homicide habit,
I can't have it,
My dreams were lost when the devil entered my brain and stabbed it,
C'mon boy what happened?
Initially was positivity found in the trash bin,
It's a has been,
So these lethal thoughts I stay clapping,
Put the boy to sleep and start napping,
I'm done rapping

[Chorus:]

If I passed away,

What have I done,

Leave a mark on this earth,

Before you are gone,

No one sees the pain behind a smile

No one sees the pain behind a smile

[Verse 3:]

No more hatred, I'm tired of the fake shit,

Hard to swim when your mind has a dirty lake in it,

But-

Do not drown, move your arms around,

Fatigue hits when you follow others 

But what happens when the lead quits?

None other than fear,

Being weird is so important to me,

But if you press it, it will press you into horrid reality,

Take a trip into my conscience,

Yeah, luck is a bitch

Because I'm the only one she's not sleeping with,

Excuse me miss, riddle me this,

Why is the golden child snoring in a pitch black crib?

Come one come all is the statement yearned,

And "I love you all" is it simply placed in laymen's terms,

The main concern,

Am I dreaming or living?

Well it takes a life to dream

So I'm living out my dreams,

Still, it's not what it seems,

Get money by any means

But that's not what my faith believes,

Hope this bad day decides to leave

[Chorus:]

If I passed away,

What have I done,

Leave a mark on this earth,

Before you are gone,

Nobody sees the pain behind a smile

Nobody sees the pain behind a smile

[Outro:]

A smile can be good or bad...

But you only see the good smile...

It's hard to live this thing called life,

Just don't give up

I've been faced with that decision...

I hope this helps anyone through any difficult situation

they're in...at least you know mine now.

[p.s. I so want to record me rapping this over 

a Charles Hamilton beat]

~

Hey Jah...It's Joshua

Many say I have a talent for writing,

Professors say I'm adequate...

It's whatever...

Well...

You already know what's in my head,

But consider this a gift from me to you...

It's my way of complaining in beautifully written words.

When I get to see you as I awake from that deep sleep,

I want to read it to you...

It probably won't matter then...

Thanks for all you've done

It surely isn't looked over.

Joshua Stowers,

Much love...

The Manhattan Triangle

It started off as an eye-to-eye make-out,

And I could tell she desired to take out

My media until I immediately meet my seed

As I consume her media take-out

With a mouth full of greed,

Money-hungry looked her face,

Not blessed with rich grace,

But luckily I booked my ace

In the hole of my heart,

Where her being with someone else

Was an infatuation blatantly left on the shelf,

I never ever met her,

But my eyes knew her,

As we inhaled the blast of the starry pineapple hookah,

She gently touched my knee,

Blushing was free,

What's your name?

Were the words her lips chanted,

Followed by a caramel smile which skid a mile

Only to arrive to a screeching halt

And abruptly send my chin to the asphalt,

She had a man who was the friend of my friend,

And I thought to myself this has to end,

But then,

Her lover leaves for a moment in time,

Only at this time she asks for ten digits,

Legit, quick-schemed was her master plan,

To deceive what her relationship actually means,

It seems like she didn't care,

Her game was more than fair

As I grabbed her hair and whispered my number in her ear,

Buzzed out of our minds,

When will her lover return?

Depends on the power of the time,

Over the music I heard the clock strike,

And he's back like Mase gracing the mic,

The guilt, the anxiety,

Made me pause still and sit there quietly,

I felt so bad in this Glad Ziploc bag of a slow love drag,

But I ignored the fear,

Chose to chill cool,

So sincere was her mystical aura,

Intoxicating my mood till I was short of...

A breath of fresh air is what I longed for,

So we all squeezed in her four door sedan,

More room was needed but I didn't care,
Her mesmerizing stare easily made me a stan,

Two hours have passed in my spinning mind,

The thinnest line is where my heartbeat would hardly beat,

Now back at home,

Caught up with my shadow's creep,

As her body rubs mine,

Her precious lips and my cheek meet,

She pulls away and returns to her lover

And so did my acute love for her,

I couldn't have her so I became annoyed,

A boy plays with toys,

A man like me was playing with great shapes,

Teased by the taste of her love sample,

With a misty view of the city skyline,
I'm trapped in The Manhattan Triangle.

Starpoint Beach

Off the coast goes a lost love

Less likely to boast

An ego that was erased

As our wine glasses toast,

To a much better life I will see,

More of a man I will be,

Caught in your seductive web,

I try to flee,

Because your former lover

Happily left the woman standing in front of me

That my eyes see,

See I try not to recall

What those falling pictures,

Crawling scriptures,

Rushing down my wall

Wanted me to see,

But alas,

I'm free from this fairytale picture,

Inhale, exhale, taste the elixir,

Poison sipped,

Choices slipped,

Consciousness quit,

Later on to be awakened by a hard screech,

The language of scarred speech

Heard remarkably off the coast of Starpoint Beach.

Curren$y x Audio Dope 2

Curren$y - Audio Dope 2 from Creative Control on Vimeo.

Bleu Moon

The bleu moon reflects its intense light,

Deaf is right,

As silence crawls upon my face with such spite,

A baby lion last of its kind,

Raised by wolves,

Danger in a matter of time,

Will its cries be heard?

The thoughts scream loudly,

But the whispers squeal from the back of the herd,

The bleu moon still rotates on its own,

Light so white as the bone,

Fear not for hope creates on its own,

Shining perfectly down, 

Glaring back at my face,

The striking stars simply stare back at a stationary pace,

And with one wish winds down the clock,

Times up,

I'll return to my normal appearance at heart,

From the start,

I was witnessing works of art trailing the sweet tune

Of melodic sand dunes shading my view of this bleu moon.