"The Somber Side"

~

It has arrived - Joshua's darker days

Funny thing is, no one even new these day were lived.

Not even family.

Time to take a trip to the somber side of my mind....

There's no turning back.

Is there water, which would explain this beautiful reflection?

Or is it a steep fall shielded by a glamorous illusion?

Well I thought it to be a beautiful view of a lake, so I walked closer to the "water".

My mind played a trick on me, or was it my naked eye?

I wonder if I clothed my eye would I then be able to see past reality.

As I got closer to the "water" I tripped over one of life's hurdles and

fell, as I was now apart of a steep fall.

This is where my life begins its detour.

Reality slapped me and opened my eyes to a much darker scenery.

I felt lost, terrified, worried, and even anger was felt.

I tend to think it's the end of the world when the simplest things

happen to me, but this here was not simple in the slightest bit.

So imagine how I reacted.

Abandonment, a sense of aloneness, and the cry of fear was 

heard all around my own little world in my bedroom.

Too bad the door was always closed so nobody could hear or see.

Left with 2 paths to take: Staying positive or having late-night rendezvous

with evil thoughts.....

I chose to flirt around for a bit.

Oddly gorgeous, right?

But it scared the living daylight right out of me, literally.

Psychedelic visions, dreams, and imaginary voices

were some of the effects of choosing to "flirt around".

During this euphoric adventure of mine, I had incredible and intense

dreams - some with messages, some just for pleasure.

One night, all ready to dream beautifully again, my conscience

abused this mental gift and it took a wrong turn.

Under a sweet spell, on my break from reality, I began to dream.....

A nightmare:

I'm randomly in an immense building or factory with 2 of my 3 brothers.

All of a sudden, a screeching loud alarm goes off and we're told to

evacuate because a huge hurricane was heading our way.

People were rushing out of this building so fast, so I looked back to find my brothers.

I only saw one.

I began to panic and told my youngest brother to stay right here

and don't move.

I promise you I'm coming back.

I ran to find my other brother, sprinting up staircases and staircases,

until I reached the top floor.

I couldn't find him.

So I leaped from the platform to a tall pole.

The distance between the platform and this pole had to be about 10 yards.

I made it to the pole and climbed to the top of it.

I slowly and carefully turned around to get a better view

of the building, still in search of my brother.

Then, I saw a gigantic screen hanging from the ceiling.

The screen had a little weather ticker at the bottom

of it like most news stations have when something tragic

has happened.

This is what it read, "List of people deceased: Tommy Jackson,

Charles Brown, Jared Stowers, Vincent Lopez.

My missing brother's name is Jared.

I began to tear up heavily, crying out and shouting the Lord's name

in anger. I said, "Jesus Christ why didn't you take me? It's not fair. I will

die for any member of my family. Why would you take him? I guess I'm supposed to

move on and maintain faith, right?"

I climbed down the pole and ran back to my youngest brother,

only to see my missing brother standing next to him from afar.

My heart stopped racing and the tears stopped trickling down my face.

I hugged my brother and asked where he was.

He said, "I was looking for you guys".

My brothers and I then left the building together alive.

After the nightmare, I woke up with tears on my pillow.

Who would plant such a terrible vision in my head?

Maybe it was those evil thoughts and my true, inner soul

deflected those thoughts with the good in me.

Possibly, it showed God how I would actually react in a panic situation like that.

I don't know, I can guess at it all day.

Through these images of my mind, months have passed and I 

attempted to "stay positive".

That doesn't mean it was easy.

More time passed and I noticed I still had opportunities to

get out of this sad period in time.

I decided to walk in that little beam of light.

I know, my mind is highly active.

{-The Offbeat Human-}